fat pants

I've discovered that these fat pants I've been wearing can now be pulled over my hips and ass without being unbuttoned or unzipped.
Yay!
Still not sure if I should try out some older pants... I hate the feeling of failure. I might just wear these another week until I'm at 180 lbs...

GW 1

Goal weight 1 reached!
I weighed in yesterday at 184! That's only 4lbs until my next goal weight - when I will allow myself to try on pants that I haven't been able to fit into in over a year!
I'm pretty sure I was 180 when I wore them last... I'm not 100% sure. I hope so.
My monstrous size 16 pants that I'm so embarrassed of are baggy & look even worse than when they fit. :) Hopefully, I'll be able to fit into those pants in the next couple of weeks, and never ever have to wear these things again.
Instead of buying skivvies as my reward for reaching 185 lbs, I had to buy costuming for this weekend's show. That's fine, though. I ended up with a SUPER cute pair of shoes. :)

Onward & downward!

Tick

I feel fat & bloated & full of blood, like a freshly-fed tick.
Don't let me near a scale.
I've just eaten TWO cups of rice w/ flax oil & soy sauce.
I'm fasting for 2 days on cranberry juice.
Fuck this body.
I ate too much at this party last night. I don't even LIKE sweets, but PMS gets me every month. She's a BITCH.

You Won't Believe It

I can barely believe it.
Despite:
1. Eating like a fat pig for 4 days
2. Not exercising for 4 days
3. Being about to start my period

I didn't gain one OUNCE. Still at 186 lbs.

Heck, I'll take it!

So. To date, I've lost 16 lbs. I'll measure myself tonight. During the month of November, I've lost 7 lbs.

I'm shooting for 10 during December.

Also, the Fat Flush is going to be a bust for me. I'm vegan, and it requires me to eat meat. What a pisser. I'm going to try to employ some of the methods, though, such as drinking diluted cranberry juice during the day & taking 2 tablespoons of flax oil a day. Hopefully, that will speed up the weight loss a bit.

Addendum - I just realized that, drinking this diluted cranberry juice, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. Nor have I been hungry.

Sweet.

F-you, Thanksgiving

Well, it wasn't a TOTAL bust. I did okay. Not as well as I would have liked, but not as bad as I was afraid I would. The days after Thanksgiving were the real horrorshow.
I'm not sure if I should weigh myself... I'm also about to start my period, so I'll be retaining water... Maybe I should so I'll feel better when I lose the water weight next week?
Heh.
Small comforts.
I'd like to know how much damage this weekend did, but I don't want to freak myself out with a weight that reflects damage + water gain.
Hmmm...

Steeling Myself

So the Thanksgiving Plan had to be revised. If I'm going to be getting my ass up on stage next month, I can't afford to have a binge day like that. I can't believe I was even planning to do that. What was I thinking? I feel gross just thinking about it. On the up-side, I find that if I give myself permission to do something like that, I usually swing the other way when the time comes & don't go off the deep end & binge.
Regardless, I'm still revoking my permission.
It's going to be a huge extravaganza, but I'm going to do my best. Maybe just try for one spoonful of everything I like & hopefully that will work...
Best of luck to me & everyone!!

186!

I was so discouraged yesterday when I weighed myself and I handn't lost an ounce! Then I remembered that I hadn't had a bowl movement in two days... so... I thought maybe that had just a bit to do with it. I took some fiber yesterday & was about to pull out the laxatives when... well... you know, it was resolved...
So! 2 pounds lost! Only 1 pound before goal weight #1! Only 6 pounds before I'm allowing myself to try on old pants that I haven't worn in a year! I feel very encouraged!