bloated

Started my period today & I have this weird feeling of being slightly thinner yet bloated at the same time. I really hope this bloat goes down by Monday, when I weigh in! If I don't see a loss on Monday, I will seriously give up & just eat until I'm 300 lbs.
I did pretty well yesterday. I couldn't fast, because of my tattoo appt. I barely eeked over 1,000 cals, so that's fine. I only got a walk in on the treadmill, but that was still 215 cals burned.
Today, I'm going to run & do some pilates tonight at home. I'll try to keep the cals around 500 for today, because weekends are always rough.
I'll do better this weekend than last weekend, though!!! I have plans to go running on Saturday with a friend, so that'll help. Plus, I have a show coming up, so I'll be rehearsing & choreographing. That'll get me moving & keep me busy.


I wish I could just be happy with who I am. Just own this fat body & love it. But I can't. I tried. I think that's how I got so fat in the first place, trying to be happy with who I am and failing miserably. A friend of mine wants to go out for pizza. Holy. Fuck. What am I supposed to do about this? I can't eat pizza! I can't even think about pizza because the pangs of loss & nostalgia are too much for me... It's to the point where I can't blow her off again. Maybe I can fanagle it so that we go somewhere that has salads.