Crap.

This weekend was rough. Super rough. It wasn't just the potluck at work, or Halloween or just not having the structure of work to keep my natural over-eating inclinations in check... it was everything. I didn't even count calories, because I didn't want to know. Part of the problem is my boyfriend. Well, he's not a problem. He's super supportive & would help me with anything, but he really likes rich food. Sometimes, it's just too much for me to resist. So we made a huge meal on Saturday that included BREAD!!!! omg. Then, I was so depressed on Sunday that I had like a million dark chocolate covered pecans & a slice of pizza WITH CHEESE.
I'm terrified to get on the scale today. Seriously terrified. I need to know what kind of damage I did, but I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
I'm fasting all day on miso soup. I had my probiotic drink (50 cal) & nothing but miso soup for the rest of the day (20 cal per serving). I drank some Triphala before I left for work. Oh, and I had some coffee today - which I don't usually drink. Hopefully the metabolism boost & diuretic will help out with this afternoon's weigh-in.
We'll see.
I didn't even go anywhere for Halloween. I was too embarassed to even try to find a costume that didn't make me look like a cow. I used to be so cute & dress up in sexy costumes all the time. How did I get to this place? How did I get so fat??
Oh, I just remembered that we're going to a friend's house for dinner.... I'm hoping that it will be crowded & nobody will notice that I'm not eating, or that I can get away with nibbling on something tiny or beg off with a 'stomach ache'.
This week will be better. Maybe I'll continue this miso fast all week!