fuckfuckfuckfuck

Let's just call Friday night my high calorie day. This is why I can't drink. Even one drink will send me off drinking & eating things that I have NO BUSINESS putting in my mouth. 2 margaritas, 3 vodka on the rocks, 1 scotch, 1 rack of lamb with wild rice, 1 order of french fries from a fast food joint on the way home, and 2 empanadas the next morning for breakfast.
Z
O
M
F
G
I don't know how many calories that is. I don't want to know. I don't ever ever want to know.
Rack of lamb???!!?! french fries????!!!!?!
I don't even eat meat!! When I'm sober, the sight of fried food can send me into a panic attack!!
WTF?!
So I have proven to myself that I simply can't drink. That's how I got so fat in the first place. I worked in a bar, and I would leave the bar all drunk at the end of the night & stop at a nearby fast food restaurant for a snack on the way home. 2 years of that eventually caught up with me, and I got fired for being too fat. (I was a stripper)
Today, calories must stay under 500. And there will be no more slip-ups. Thanksgiving is coming up, and that can be a "free day" to let loose a bit.
RACK OF LAMB??